Doing love

I’m watching Channel Nine’s The Farmer Wants A Wife and a funny thing has been happening to me for the last hour of the show. I feel compelled to put the volume on mute and I keep looking away or shutting my eyes with waves of trepidation washing through me. I caught myself in the act of doing all these things and I demanded an explanation…from myself.

It just hit me now that the only time I feel this way is when I am extremely embarrassed. This show is embarrassing me. The question is why?

I don’t know these people who are willing and brave enough to take part in a show that assumes falling in love is like a script. And yet my heart cringes for them- for their total abandonment to this pervading nonsense of reality that Hollywood has cooked up. They all seem like wonderful people and I’m sure they are…but what is this really all about?

And here I was thinking I was the only single diva in Melbourne. Well, apart from my girlfriend Karinya!

But clearly, there are hundreds of people out there desperately trying not to be alone. People who would do anything to find love, even if it means being in a crazy show like The Farmer Wants A Wife. But is this love? Is love something you search for? Do you go out there to look for it as a hunter searches for prized deer? Or is it something that just happens in a blink of an eye…as you fall into it? As a woman do you sit and wait for love to come knocking on your door?

I must be honest and say that I don’t know the complete answers to these questions. I too, was searching… and then waiting, until I realised that love is not out there to be discovered or here to be patient for. Love is something you do. I’m doing love right now. When what you do comes from a place of respect, honour, dignity, beauty, peace and out- going concern then you are doing love. And when you’re doing love, love will have no choice but to do you…eventually. It might take some time but if you are truly doing love you might not even notice that love took a while to walk through your door.

You see, there is a principle in life that I think is so understated; “what we sow is what we reap”. This principle is as real and sure as the law of gravity so pause a while and think.

It breaks my heart that love in today’s definition appears to have lost its essence, that vortex of realness that makes men-men and women-women. It has been reduced to a mere chemical reaction that you can fall in and out of depending on how you’re feeling. Love has become a sugar-coated superficiality. We have lost respect for the greatest gift God has ever given us, the living force that drives life itself. We’ve lost the plot. And as long as it stays like that, I’m afraid shows like The Farmer Wants A Wife will always embarrass me.