These last few days I have become accustomed to waking up to the rhythmic sound of the chicken’s hard beaks hitting the plastic platter as they have their morning feed. I have also become accustomed to the incredible fresh air in this part of Lusaka. The kind you cannot ignore as you inhale and you feel your lungs rejoice as they expand to receive it. It feels good to breathe this way.
It’s so quiet here.
Every time I start to worry myself to death, the sheer beauty of this place seems to hold me in check. I see God and His care everywhere here. I’ve seen thousands of butterflies in all shades and colours. I’ve been amazed by the care-freeness of the birds. I especially love the way the Hawks swoop down to catch their prey. It’s been breathtaking.
I’ve sat on the porch in the warm sun doing my bible study as I steal glances at the changing shapes of the clouds. Mom and I have sat side by side – each of us thinking about Dad, no doubt but not saying a word.
And I’ve been to the lowest depths of my soul and back and somehow I still don’t know how to proceed from here…from this state I’m in.
I’m not sure how I’m going to play my part in changing our family situation. I’m not sure what awaits me when I go back to Melbourne and nor how I will cope or even whether I can cope.
I’m only sure that I desperately need divine intervention. I need providence.