The 3rd law of fabulous living

Yes, I suppose I’m making laws now 🙂

For some reason I am absolutely certain about the 3rd law of living fabulously. Don’t ask me what the 1st or 2nd law is…not just yet anyway.

So, what is this 3rd law?
“Thou shalt not be desperate.”

By nature, I’m a very calm person. I don’t tend to wave my hands in the air, scream or speak real loud. My supervisor at work has many a time said, “Sunshine, you’re like a quiet, little mouse!” I smile because I like it. Truth is I believe more in being seen than being heard. Of course on the surface, this side of me appears to be in conflict with my emotionally, passionate side or the fact that I want to be a writer and speaker (both of which require me to be heard). But surprisingly, it doesn’t. I’m knitted together quite beautifully, if I may be allowed to say so myself 🙂

What does this have to do with desperation?

Well, despite my calm, inner composure, desperation has been my live-in foe, always on hand to test me.And as you might know it is a very cunning foe.

And when I speak of desperation, I hope you’re not only thinking of it in terms of visible, reckless despair. It is also that emotional constant nagging of “I wish…I wish…oh I wish!” And that is mostly the kind of desperation I’m talking about.

For example, I would love to meet the man who was made for me and I have noticed that I go looking for him in every attractive guy I see or meet. I may not always be doing it consciously but I’m still doing it. I am desperate. I want my book to get published. I wish…I wish…oh I wish! I’m desperate.

My list could go on.

So recently, I sat myself down and I read, thought listened, meditated and decided I had had enough. Desperation and I are going to respect each other’s spaces and part ways. I’ve put myself on an interesting challenge which I’ll be happy to share sometime in the future. In the meantime, hear me out.

Desperation (the kind I’m talking about here) is a result of principles working behind the scenes. We often don’t think that everything works according to invisible laws and principles but they most certainly do. And awareness of this saves a lot of heartache.

Back to desperation – I’m calling this principle the principle of pursuit. We know we should follow and pursue our dreams and passions, right? And we grow up hearing this over and over. Of course, this is great! But what they don’t tell us is that there are so many great things in life that absolutely should not be pursued directly. They come as a result. They are fruits of certain ways of thinking, doing and living.

For instance, I’m sure we all know that you can’t go looking for happiness because happiness is not a bus stop somewhere on which you arrive or something you can take hold of in your hands. But you might experience it as you take a walk along the seaside and stumble upon a stunning sunset.

So often when we directly pursue things that shouldn’t be directly pursued we become desperate.

In a book I was reading a few weeks ago, the author was talking about how whenever we are desperate for anything, we create an energy that pushes it away. Is it any wonder that we often don’t get what we are most desperate for? That is the principle actively at work.

Take nature for example, it doesn’t understand desperation. It always seeks balance and you cannot be desperate and balanced at one and the same time.

The question then is, how can you avoid being desperate when you are desperate?

It’s all about attitude, and this is what I’m learning and proving. That attitude of saying, I need X to be happy is very, very tricky. Sure, in some cases it is true but in most, it always leads to disaster.

If you’re interested in living a fabulous life, you must pay attention to the 3rd law. Do everything you can to make whatever you’re trying to achieve work and then let things flow. This is not being indifferent, it’s just not forcing things. And it is extremely difficult to do but more often than not, the results will come.

So, as always, be fabulous! And remember, thou shalt not be desperate.

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