Sometimes I kid myself.
I look in the mirror and I see this strong, courageous woman with a strong will who can take on almost anything and face most things.
But the fact is…that is not entirely true. Sometimes I’m like a little girl who is unsure of herself and where she stands.
Lately, I have been feeling like that little girl, carrying around an ache in my heart that I need to lay down somewhere before my heart bursts.
The thing is my ground got shaken.
And I don’t think there is anything worse than having or feeling like your foundation is being torn from underneath you.
My ground is my anchor; my life; and the thing that enables me to stand upright as a person, as a woman.
But maybe this earthquake is good because sometimes what you think is your anchor is not actually your ground or put more explicitly…sometimes what you think is your ground should not be your ground.
I have a great weakness – I carry other people’s burdens as though they were mine. I intertwine their lives with mine and carry their dreams as though they were my own. I submerge myself into them until I can’t tell where they end and I begin. This is a problem because I subconsciously attach my anchor to them and somehow they become part of the ground I stand on. This can have grave consequences as I’m finding out.
My concern is not so much the types of anchors that are out there but more with what they do. My Cassells thesaurus dictionary defines anchor as “to fix firmly, attach, fasten, or secure”.
The main job of an anchor is to prevent a vessel from drifting (due to wind or current). It holds a vessel firmly and provides support, stability and security.
And since you are the vessel of your life, your anchor should be the thing that holds you together; your mainstay.
This is important because we all know life is not always a calm sea. Sometimes there are storms and heavy winds and if you don’t want to get lost out there, you need to know your anchor and know it well; know what it is and where it is. Even when the seas are calm, be aware of the ground you stand on.
The earthquake that has shaken my ground has made me realise that it’s okay to have people as your support system…but it’s not okay to have them as your anchor. This is simply because no human being is fully equipped to be an absolute anchor for another human being.
An anchor needs to be steadfast and totally reliable every time and allthe time. And since as human beings we are inconsistent and prone to shifting attitudes and states of being, we are only good as temporary anchors.
Unfortunately, I cannot tell you what your anchor is or should be but I can tell you to be careful in your choice.
Your anchor is your ground and without your ground you cannot stand.