Noticing green & orange

478098068_b93c05ce02

I have this image stuck in my mind; of two birds perched on a power line, frolicking & kissing. Covered in deep, rich & luxurious green & orange feathers. They were exquisite & I wondered whether they had any idea just how beautiful that green & orange looked on them.

They inspired an awareness, a noticing of colour. we are bathed in it from the moment we wake up.

I could tell you of the pinks, browns, burgundies & purples that play in my room. & you could tell me about the rainbows that live in your life. We could sit around the fire & whisper to each other. & watch the flames dance their way into heaven dressed in brilliant red, blue & orange hues.

But instead, I shall tell you of another kind of colour – the kind that is easy to miss.

It begins at dawn, in the still silence of the morning. It’s almost as though the earth takes a moment to worship its creator – everything soaked in quiet. dripping with a sacred silence. synchronised & perfect. I sit in the quiet listening to the silence.

At exactly 6.30 the bird that lives outside my bedroom window begins her morning lullaby. At 6.45, she stops. It’s always at the same time every single day. she is reliable with her song as the sun is with his course. she shows me everyday what it means to show up, whether people see you or not.

I notice how alive the train platform suddenly becomes whenever a train arrives. People get off, people get on. Who are they? Where are they going? Are they ok? I watch & ponder, my book forgotten as it lays open on my lap.

Eyes meet, eyes withdraw. my heart misses a beat & my palms sweat as my eyes linger on the vanishing delectable form of a man. I am so gullible. I sigh & smile in the same moment, lowering my head in contentment that even in the thick of noise & commotion I am insignificant – a simple soul among souls. Save for the man, nobody else can see my heart blush bright red & I can abandon myself back into the book atop my sweaty palms.

From the corners of my eye, I notice the struggle of an old, grey woman as she pushes herself up from the seat.

“My back is no longer the same y’know” she says to me in an equally crackly voice.

I gently close my book & offer her my un-divided attention.  The invitation must be written all over my face because she proceeds to pour her story into my lap. Of a daughter’s loss of an arm after being pushed under a train. She & her sore back had just come from the hospital where the doctor had delivered the good news;

“Your daughter will live!”

So today was a good day for her, aching back & all.  I couldn’t get to her joy. I was still drowning in the pain before the joy. I was still wrestling with the ‘pushed under the train bit’. Who would do such a heart-wrenching thing?

I watch her take each short step as she walks away. I whisper a prayer for her & her daughter.

I notice the rain.

As I walk home, it has the nerve to start drizzling. I look up at the sky, suddenly dark & foreboding & I grimace. My day was long & the last thing I need is to be drenched. Soaked blue-wet to the bone. I’m just about successful working myself up into a bad attitude when two raindrops, soft as a petal fall on my lips. I curve into the gesture & my heart strings are pulled completely. I am being kissed by the rain. I am being wooed in the most irresistible of ways. Everything melts away – the longness of the day, the pain encountered, the ache in my heart. everything.

Life is bursting with gems & pebbles; lessons in colour that whisper & shout. They form beautiful patterns of tapestries right across our life journeys. They surround us & sometimes box us in, living right under our noses – the green & orange of everyday.

All we need to do is notice

2 thoughts on “Noticing green & orange

  1. I love the way you love the magic of ordinary days. I will admit that, at times, I am overwhelmed by your honest intensity and want to pull away before it draws me in. However, by staying the course and letting your intensity envelope me, I find a kindred heart and a knowing soul.

    I cannot deny that I have walked in your days that were mine. I have felt the same intensity within myself and had the same reactions to it. Some days I want to get lost in it and let it overflow (scaring the mess out of those close enough to be immersed in its open vulnerability) and other times I have fled from it knowing I was not yet ready to bear it all and be so exposed – even to myself.

    There you have it. It is not a heart of trepidation that can read your soul and return unscathed. If you feel us fleeing, it because you are far too good at exposing those parts of us that we would rather bury than allow to be seen – in this rapidly isolating world. We cannot afford to be consumed by it or we may not have the strength to stand against the onslaughts of this age.

    We forget we have not the strength. It must be given. It must be surrendered. We must be exposed.

    1. I love the way you put that. the sheer power of it. it surprised me that you spoke to something that was behind the words. something I have been mulling inside my own heart. my life coach had asked me a question last week & you just handed me the answer wrapped in frills of gold.

      I, also, must admit that there used to be a time when even I, myself, would find my own intensity overwelming. it didn’t seem to perfectly fit into the square pegs the world creates for its own. & so I let it sit uncomfortably within me. at home but not quite at home. the suppression felt like shackles. deliverance came when I stopped fleeing. in being exposed, I find myself over & over again. it’s like falling in love but never reaching the bottom. & even in the exposure there is always so much more inexpressible things that words fail to voice.

      the world is drowning in a superficiality that makes me sad. & then I realise that is exactly the goal of the world – to have all that is true & beautiful erased; to have me erased. How can I know Him & then walk around like a stranger with something to hide? I don’t even have to speak a word for His way is beginning to drip off me like dew. it mingles with the perfume i wear. there is no hope for hiding. the world will tell I’m different anyway. so the only peace I find is in the exposure. yes, you are too right, even then I have not the strength, it must be given. it must be surrendered. we must be exposed.

      “It is not a heart of trepidation that can read your soul and return unscathed” – this is my favourite line. a treasure trove & a lifeline. thank you, beloved.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s