You are made for so much more. I know this to be true.
I will not lavish you with sweet words of what you deserve i.e. happiness, success, love…because I don’t know if you do.
Deserve is such a powerful word. & it is greatly, greatly misconstrued. misused. It is thrown around like a wet towel that is meant to suck up all the mess in the world. all the mess you & I have made in the kitchen because we thought mama wasn’t looking.
No, I will not even claim to know what you deserve. I dare not go there.
I do know though that you were made for so much more. For beauty & honour & glory. for love. & this is what gets written over & over on the canvass of your life – in what you do; in the way you think about others & yourself; in the way you treat others & yourself. this is what forms your identity. not so much what you look like or how many people think you’re cute or that you can write so well.
My dad always used to say that life is about relationships; that life is a love relationship. But relationships are tricky beasts. & sometimes they are plain difficult.
A few weeks ago I laid it out for my mom. I told her I had it up to my ears with people who rub me the wrong way – people who breathe negativity into my life. I had taken inventory & they were getting the chop. My wise mother let me vent for a while & then paused, the way she does when she is listening hard.
“Sometimes you can’t choose who walks into your life. Nor are you meant to in those times” she finally said quietly.
Her words sat uncomfortably into me for days. Later I realised what she had been trying to tell me; what I had been resisting – every inventory begins with myself. If I’m not getting it right why should I give other people such a hard time? I cannot ask people to do what I am not doing. & I cannot ask people to do what I am not willing to do. That is hypocrisy 101. Sometimes people walk into our lives to teach us this very lesson. This is the inventory that counts. It is the one that produces the more that you & I were made for.
Should you be crossing & dotting negative people off your life list & casting them into your version of utter darkness? Probably. But it’s not about having people in your life that make you feel good. It never was. You can feel good & still be lost. It’s about having people in your life that help you grow. & sometimes that will involve a bit of frustration & pain.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s super important to surround yourself with people who are real, kind & compassionate. But first check in the mirror – are you real, kind & compassionate yourself?
By all means take inventory. But make sure you start at your own doorstep. What you will have in the end will be beautiful. It will not necessarily be easy but it will be beautiful.