The pledge

Way of the heart

The world is hurting.

I know this because I am right in the midst of it. Just like you.

Sometimes I stay up at night listening to the wind. And the voices it carries. There are cries and sirens and I wonder about the people connected to those sounds. And other times, there is this surreal stillness. The night is silent. Everything quiet. Breathing. Alive. Well.

Much of the pain of the world is behind closed doors. In people’s houses. In their living rooms and bedrooms. In their hearts and minds. We all share in that.

But then, every so often we are catapulted into the open wounds of the world. Into those parts of her that no longer make sense. Where the whole humanity thing is suspended in a timeless vacuum. Some of the those parts are falling apart at the seams, coming undone, bleeding like that is the only thing left to do.

Syria comes to mind. The Central African Republic, Yemen, Sudan…India.

See, humanity’s wellbeing…it matters to me. It matters greatly.

I am invested in it. Deeply so. I wish I had the eloquent words that would explain this to you…in leaps and bounds right to the core of you. That you wouldn’t question me. That you wouldn’t disregard my regard. That you wouldn’t think me crazy. That you wouldn’t shoot me down.

But there are no words.

However, I have faith in you dear reader. That even though you might not fully understand the pieces of my heart, you will still let me exist. That you will still show up with me in the world.  That you will let me make this pledge:

I will make it brighter. Wherever I step into. Wherever I speak my words into. I will make it brighter for someone else.

I tried to hide from my responsibility.

I hid from you. From the words. From myself.

I didn’t want to overwhelm you. So I went in search of a rational explanation for the words I weave together. The words I send out into the world. The words I leave in your bosom.

There is none. No rational explanation.

And so here I am. I will just be. And I need you to just be. And maybe in our just being we can do something about the hurting world.

We can notice the pain. We can notice the indifference. We can notice the apathy. And we can move away from that. From building walls to protect the happiness of some from the misery of others.

We can learn to practice empathy. To love like it is the only thing we were created to do. To find our humanity and to warmly extend to someone else.

This is radical.

This will take a lifetime.

But it’s too late for isolationism. It’s too late for pessimism.

The threads that connect us cannot be severed. Flimsy they may seem but they are the wires of life. The blood vessels that pulse beneath the skin of the world linking bodies and souls across time and space. And one day the fate of this our world will be felt by all. At the same time.

It will be beautiful.

It will be disastrous.

But those links will become evident. Undeniable. Raw.

Until then I will make this pledge:

I will make it brighter. Wherever I step into. Wherever I speak my words into. I will make it brighter for someone else. I will be properly human.

6 thoughts on “The pledge

  1. I have found that, in life, we are allowed to bear as many heart burdens as we desire to – even the ones we are not being ‘asked’ to bear. He lets us do that. He allows us to explore our empathy and our depths and to rub a little of this and a lot of that on our own heart wounds as we strive for this solidarity with deep and ‘pure’ and raw humanity. Where we can feel truly alive. And sometimes found.

    It is a good process, but as you said, it can be overwhelming. If I know your heart like I think I do (to some small degree), you, as I have and do, need this connecting with the deeply hurting souls. Somehow we need to feel the greater pain to access our own – locked deep in the recess of our core.

    What I love most about where you took this is that you brought this Something Too Big to Hold back into the present, back to something you can hold in your hands – your very own brightness. Your own exquisite gift. The ever present moment of choosing to share it when you want most to hide and protect it.

    I love this because it allows for the hedges and perfection of our Great Creator. It allows for surrender to the realities warring within us and around us. In it, you can have Peace and share it – even if you cannot fix the larger context, you know that you know you are part of its greater salvation.

    That beautiful day.

    1. I love how you put that Mikele. the allowance for the hedging and perfection of our God. Where would we end up without it? And yes, He allows us to explore our empathy. I think we will need it. Like we will need it badly. How will we teach others when we have no understanding of what it is like? Of the hurt or pain?
      And your words about being a part of this world’s greater salvation…I will take them and tuck them in my heart. So beautiful. So affirming. Thank you dearest.

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